Stop Leaning In. Put Down Your IPhone. And HELP ME.



Yesterday morning I experienced the longest eleven minutes of my life.   It was a typical morning 9:30 am rush to work. Coffee in hand I mulled in front of the train station waiting for an Uber because I’d recently torn the ligaments in my foot.  Headphones in my ear as I watched the little dot on the screen’s progress, scrutinizing his every move as if he were the worst Pac Man player I’d ever seen.


Suddenly a thin figure bumped into me, which I wasn’t unused to in this city, but instead of the normal mumbling apology and eye contact, she didn’t move away.  She stayed close and stared at me directly.


“Give me your phone, your purse, your bag, everything”


Surely she wasn’t..


“Give me it now or I’ll stab you” – She brandished a knife from within her leather jacket and my disbelief spoke before my self-preservation.


“You’re not going to rob me in broad daylight with all of these people around”


She pulled the knife out further and pushed it into my blue purse.  I pulled away.   “You’re crazy” I looked around frantically. Surely someone would be able to help me.  No one.  I spoke louder hoping she would wander away.  “ You’re crazy, get away from me!”  She backed off a few steps.  “I’m not crazy, you’re crazy” She replied.  Nobody moved.  The crowd continued to mull about.


I quickly tried to get away, or hobble away as it were.  I grabbed someone nearby, she continued in pursuit.  As I explained to him that this woman was trying to rob me at knifepoint and I needed someone to walk with. He nodded a little hazed by my frantic explanation.  As I continued,  I realized


I knew him.


Maybe that’s why it was easier to pick him for help.  I thought I was saved but she followed close behind.   He went a few steps with me then stopped.   My pursuant continued pushing me towards a darker less populated area.


I was terrified.  Do I cross the street into quiet not-so-crowded alcoves, where I was most likely to be robbed or stabbed or whatever happens on the news, or should I make a run for it?  I had a 200-person presentation that night; I didn’t have time for this.


I decide to make a run for it.  I threw my hot coffee in her face and made a run back for the train station.   This only stunned her for a few moments, but I made it several yards closer towards the busy train station.   She caught up to me and latched on.


“ I’m going to stab you and kill you”


By now she was livid.  And suddenly we were brawling, she swinging at me with a knife in one hand, and punched with the other.  I blocked all I could.  panic filling  every  moment.


And nobody lends a hand.


I finally pushed her away from me, and backed into the train station, screaming for help.  I felt blood flowing down my face.




People stare and watch.


“Anybody, please, somebody, help me!”


30 eyes follow us.


I’m crying, begging, pleading.


“Please, she’s got a knife, she’s trying to stab me, please! ANYONE!”


One Gentleman from a distance tells her she better stop


I don’t know how but I finally made it to the far platforms where there was a conductor.  I screamed the whole way.  A private security guard appeared and took us into custody until the police arrived.


I know San Francisco is a tight-knit community, and we like to think that we’d jump to help one another. But what the hell was that? I’ve read all the psychology books. I know the typical explanations. I want to deeply believe in humanity.  Did it all happen so fast that those of us who can beat enemies on a video game in milliseconds didn’t have time to react?  Those of us who can pound out code like it’s nobody’s business, who can troubleshoot outages for million- and billion- dollar companies without breaking a sweat; why can’t you stand beside someone in need?  Those of us who can be bossy, can’t be bossy to protect someone being assaulted?


To those who had to hear me present to 200 people that night, I’m sorry for my nervousness, it wasn’t because I was assaulted,  it is because I was wrestling with my realization of reality.


Is this how disconnected from the real world we’ve become?


Is this how afraid we’ve become?


67 thoughts on “Stop Leaning In. Put Down Your IPhone. And HELP ME.

  1. Sorry to say that, but welcome to the real world.

    You are alone, and scared. Like everybody else. We are not a community, we are just struggling to live as long as possible, the best way we can.

    It just happens sometimes that we share with other some interests (job, love, music, whatever). That’s it.

    When it comes to basic instincts (life preservation, for instance), you are just by yourself.

    • Lean says:

      Several years back I was completing my studies in a night school. I would usually leave sooner during my last class but my teacher mentioned he had something important to say so I stayed a bit longer. When I left the classroom I had already lost the bus by a few minutes.

      I see 2 foreign guys, well-dressed getting behind me, near the bus stop. For all effects they seemed law-abidding citizens but I had a bad-feeling about them, which caused me to look behind my shoulder every 10 seconds or so.

      When I did this for the third time, They were closing-down on me, probably with the intention to steal my mp3. The realized I was onto them. They froze. I moved to the other side of the street and I pretended to enter a building. A police car was near. They didn’t care to help me out.

      Another time, I was waiting for the train. These 2 foreigners get near me, begin to ask if they could use my phone. Told them I didn’t have a phone. They didn’t believe me and kept on saying that I felt that I was better than them, that I saw them as trash blablabla. I wasn’t saying anthing. I was just waiting for the moment they’d try to rob me. There were 4 girls in their late teens near me. They never said anything.

      Matter of fact I think they ended up going on a date with the two thugs. I was a bit surprised seeing 2 guys trying to rob me and flirting with girls at the same time.

      Anyway. Since I’m a young white man no one is interested in me and in what happens to me.

      Since that day I realized that I gotta take care of number one. I don’t establish eye-contact with anyone. Children, the elderly, or women, regardless of how attractive the young woman might be, I don’t look at women. Women have the tendency to believe they are entitled to male protection. Unless the woman in question is my mother(I’m a member of the grass-eating movement so I don’t date) I am going to stay as far away from you as possible, even if you are heavily pregnant. I will make myself as small and as invisible as possible and I’ll go about my day.

      I don’t see much of a future for the Western world. And frankly. I don’t care.


      – A young man who became aware of how little value he has for society and for humanity.

      • steve says:

        Well this is a feminist society now so enjoy , why should a man stick his neck out for an independent wo9man , we are not in the patriarchy anymore where men have any value or obligation to act like we used to as protectors…

      • artee says:

        There are some crocks on this world but the world is becoming cold and not caring because of people like you. Ok, you were being robed onsce. So what? Is your phone really so precious to abandon a contact with another human being because of it.

        • “Is your phone really so precious to abandon a contact with another human being because of it.”


          “I’m going to stab you and kill you” is “a contact with another human being”?

          What color is the sky on your home planet, Artee?

  2. I’m not surprised by the bystander effect. I still recall when I was myself a bystander. I still feel a tingle of shame, though this was a much less dire situation (a distressed looking woman asked to make a phone call). Next time, I’ll try to recognize that and be the hero, since nobody will.

    On the other hand, I’m really surprised that the one you grabbed stopped. Maybe somehow he felt he had done enough? (It would have been easy to rationalize that, especially if he could pretend the situation was confusing.)

    Anyway, the standard advice in this kind of situation is to keep picking specific people out of the crowd. You stand a better chance at being helped when you point your finger and say “you with the red shirt, help me!”.

    It’s probably not easy. One probably has to be a soldier to act this specifically in such a stressful situation. For us civilians, I would just say: Pick Someone.

  3. Alan Meira says:

    A lot of them are probably thinking in a way to create a startup around it and make tons of money. I really want to move to SF, but if is this that waits me, I prefer to stay here.

    Actually, this happens all time here in Brazil. But our problem right now is exactly because people are beating thieves near to death. A good solution is one that would fix both cases.

    Cheers up, Kirsten!

  4. Andrew says:

    I…honestly don’t know what I would do in that situation. If I, hearing you, believed that she actually had a knife an was trying to stab you, the most appropriate response would be for me to run up and kick the woman in the head. Hard.

    But I would be very reluctant to do that and so would be inclined to not believe you.

    The better part of me hopes I would kick the woman in the head.

    • Andrew says:

      On second though, I’m pretty sure I wouldn’t have helped. I’d rather not be caught holding a screaming woman to the ground or beating a woman in public.
      Sorry, but I’m not going on trial for attempted rape for you. I’ll get the police though.

      • sway says:

        This guy gets it. Culture has made men so afraid of taking charge and acting like men, and this is the result. Feminism and victim culture has made the bed, now they lie in it.

      • Mark says:

        My thoughts exactly. As a citizen my only duty is to call the police and perhaps be a witness if necessary. Not to intervene.

        That said, I probably would help a guy in trouble, if I sense there’s some bully thing going on. But not a woman, for both moral and legal reasons.

        • Daisy says:

          What’s the moral and legal reasons for not helping a woman in trouble? I can maybe understand what Andrew had said, that he will not help stop a female attacker due to the physical interactions involved and the implications it may have, but how is the gender of the victim relevant?

          There’s nothing wrong with women standing up for themselves. Feminism doesn’t mean putting women on top of men, but to have equal rights for both genders. Don’t use feminism as an excuse for your insensibility towards women.

  5. Robin says:

    When you threw your hot coffee in her face, your next move should have been a fast and powerful kick with the base of your foot just above her kneecap. Quickly angle your strong leg’s foot “90 degrees” so that its long side points forward, perpendicularly to the front of your opponent’s leg, and with speed and force kick hard just above the kneecap. If you land this kick correctly you will have about two to three minutes before your opponent is back up on their feet and moving at normal pace.

  6. I’m sorry you had to experience that. My biggest fear, without a doubt, is that I will freeze in a moment of need and not react. That I will risk someone being killed because I am overwhelmed by the moment.

    Maybe someone needs to make some educational performance theatre to shake up the drone commuters. As they say: “The only thing necessary for the triumph of evil is that good men do nothing.”

  7. It’s just like the Eloi scene in The Time Machine where someone is drowning in the river screaming and none of them do anything! When I first saw that I thought it was shocking and unrealistic, but it looks like it happened thousands of years earlier than in the story! That being said though, I think people respond to some types of problem situations much more readily. A while ago I remember and old lady fell on an escalator in NYC and screamed. Within about 1 second a bystander had stopped the escalator and about 10 people had run to help. I think if the problem and risks are easily understood people will help. In your case I bet a lot of people were thinking “there’s no way someone would be trying to stab someone for real right here, they must be acting”. It’s quite an amazing case. I’m glad you are ok!

  8. Its quite funny how I saw this Eric Allie cartoon and laughed. Then later read this blog that you have experienced the same thing.

    I’m not sure what to tell you. There are good people, but the phone is such a passive aggressive tool that people choose to use that instead. Why? Perhaps because wishful thinking is so much more controllable than physical action.

    I would’ve helped. I swear. I can’t imagine how anyone cannot. Then again, I’m not glued to my phone and/or social media the way that a lot of people are.

    I do hope you find solace in the fact that tomorrow is another day, and that people may come around to being people again.

  9. Alex says:

    The problem is the legal system. People dont want to get involved because of the consequences they could face.
    For example, if someone had stepped in and say, punched and knocked the woman out, she could turn around d and sue that person for assault, and would probably win.
    Its easier for a bystander to let the victim be seriously injured or die because, when the antagonizer gets caught they will go to jail.
    Todays society strictly thinks of themselves and self preservation.
    I remember reading an article a while back of some guy who had died on the sidewalk and people walked by the body for something like an hour or longer before anyone stopped to even check.
    The view now is ‘This doesnt concern me. Move along.’

  10. bob says:

    “I know San Francisco is a tight-knit community, and we like to think that we’d jump to help one another.”

    It’s just another lie people tell themselves to feel good. It is how disconnected people have become. That woman saw you as an easy target for putting headphones on and focusing on your phone screen, completely cutting yourself off from outside stimulus. It’s the same with all the passersby. They only remain just aware enough to not bump into stuff. Any time someone needs help, it’s someone else’s problem.

    You can only expect you to look out for yourself. If you expect any more than that you’re setting yourself up for disappointment and disillusionment.

  11. Michael Bubb says:

    Wow. Not sure how I would have reacted. Maybe I have missed a similar scenario in NYC. Hope not. Your story reminded me of an infamous story in NYC in the 60′s – the murder of Kitty Genovese.

    Why didn’t the man who knew you help?

    Hope you are OK.

  12. Hi Kirsten,

    I saved this article to “Pocket” to come back to it later. It seems your site was down earlier(?) I’m surprised no one has commented so far.

    How are you holding up now?

    Your post really resonated with me. I haven’t been through anything like this myself but can totally believe that it could easily happen.

    I don’t know what it’s like in SF but here in London, when you’re on the tube, if you so much as smile at the person next to you – you’re seen as the crazy one. It’s exactly this attitude that makes us so disconnected and unable to react when it’s needed.

    Anyway – hope you’ve had time to recover and things are better for you now.

    All the best.

  13. sanctifying.victory says:

    Sorry, my gender is withdrawing support from yours. You shouted to the high heavens how you no longer need us.

    So take care of your grrr girl independent woman self. We no longer care what happens to you.

    • Joe says:

      I agree. I intervened in a female vs female fight when I was in my 20s. I restrained the aggressor and slammed her into a wall. Very shortly afterwards I was surrounded by several unknown guys who beat the shit out of me for touching a girl. Fractured jaw and ribs were the result of my hero actions. Womyn, you’re on your own.

  14. Bill says:

    Is your phone/purse/bag worth your life? Also no one wants to get stabbed and that’s probably why no one is willing to help.

    That being said I have been in the exact situation as you and what I realized after is I should have given up my things instead of resisting, because the risk is just not worth it. And that is the true tragedy of modern society in my opinion.

  15. Piroko says:

    Its not disconnectedness.

    Its awareness.

    If a man confronted her, she’d have him arrested. The cops might believe your story and arrest her to, but they’ll arrest him on her word all the same.

    This is the world you feminists wanted. Enjoy.

  16. JP Kab says:


    I just wrote something on HN, but I’m pasting in the text now. I’m so, so sorry this happened to you.

    “When I was 12 years old, a larger, older boy was drowning in the Chesapeake Bay. It was the kind of beach where the water is knee deep for 100 years out from shore, but then suddenly drops off to 11 feet or so of water.
    He was bouncing off the bottom to get air (he couldn’t swim) but his face was turning blue, and he was making choking noises and frantically splashing. I tried to grab him, and pull him to the sandbar. He clawed onto me and began drowning me. I punched and pried and kicked underwater to get him off of me, and thanked God when I got him off and got ten feet away and got air again. I yelled for help. The people on the beach 100 yards away did nothing. Perhaps it was disbelief… I ran through the knee deep water as fast as I could to them and yelled for help as I got there. Nobody moved. I wasn’t thinking, just moving, and there were those styrofoam noodles on the ground next to their blanket. I snatched one without saying a word and ran back to the water faster than I ever have before.
    By the time I got to him it was ugly. He was still bouncing up from the bottom, but he was barely conscious, and his face looked like something from a horror movie. I’ve seen some horrific shit, but a drowning person at that stage looks like a zombie. He grabbed the noodle, and I pulled him the 15 feet or so to the sandbar. 15 feet, and it was knee deep water. He couldn’t walk, and I picked him up fireman’s style, and he was coughing out and puking water all down my back as I carried him to shore. This was the 90s, so there were no cell phones in the rural county I lived in. I ran into a house near the beach and had the ambulance come. He almost died later of a lung infection, but he’s ok now.
    I asked my dad that night why nobody helped. My dad told me that I was a “helper” like him. (he was a volunteer EMT his whole life, and a volunteer fireman. Plus I watched him help strangers all the time growing up.) “Most people aren’t helpers.” he said.
    As I’ve gotten older, I figured out that is the case. And when you a helper, you have to help a lot. I don’t know what it is, but basically maybe 80 to 90% of people don’t do shit in these situations. They subconsciously don’t even notice. And being a helper sucks, a lot, sometimes, but you still do it because you don’t think you just do and your gut won’t let you. You can’t walk away because of some deep down feeling that you are subhuman if you do.
    My worst helper experience was stopping a guy in a rural NC bar’s parking lot from beating his girlfriend. I started fighting him, and his GF (who he had just been beating) smashed a bottle on my head. My vision went blurry, and she jumped on my back and I fell to the ground. They both then proceeded to beat the shit out of me on the gravel parking lot ground.
    Now, I avoid going into the “hipster” neighborhoods of DC. As my wife pointed out, nobody in these neighborhoods is a helper. Helpers can’t live in these neighborhoods long, because inevitably you end up getting sucked into this shit and you are always alone.
    Did I oversimplify? Maybe. But that’s my experience. I can’t help but help people in trouble, and in urban and suburban areas, its probably a bad evolutionary strategy. In the country, not so much. People care there, and they reciprocate. This is probably due to such small social groups……. Wow, I ranted for a while.
    I’m so sorry for this woman…… I wish I’d have been there.”

    I just want you to know that this isn’t all of humanity. You were in a crowded place, but as I said in my comment, there are helpers out there. Remember that guy who jumped onto the subway platform and sheltered the kid who had fallen as the train went over him? These people are out there. I wish they had been where you were.

  17. John Galt says:

    Men have been raised to know ‘You never hit a woman.’ If a man intervened, and the other woman pressed charges, he would likely go to prison. Welcome to feminist San Francisco.

  18. Philipp says:

    Interesting story. For me, as I’m training Ninjutsu, I’d probably know how to act in your position. Get something in between you and her, like a bag or something, and use it as a shield. Wait for a good moment to disable her.

    However, as you said, the main question is not how to defend a knife. The question is, why was there no one encouraging to help? The reason is when people think they are alone. If you find a group of close friends, chances are much better they will help you, because together they feel stronger then one single attacker.

    On a broader view then, the ‘problem’ is a missing corporate feeling in our society. I know many people, including myself, who don’t even know their neighbors. You don’t encourage in public when you think you are alone, even standing in a crowd of other lonely people.

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  20. Neil N says:

    I hope your head is ok? You said you had blood running down your face.

    Am I seriously the first one to ask this? People are quick to analyze, throw their two cents in. More of the same self centered problem, in my opinion.

  21. brian says:

    Sorry, my gender is withdrawing support from yours. You shouted to the high heavens how you no longer need us.

    So take care of your grrr girl independent woman self. We no longer >care what happens to you.

  22. Ranger says:

    Harsh reality: the police have no legal requirement to come to your aid had they been standing right there (look it up). Certainly bystanders are not required by law or ethics to risk themselves to protect you when you are not able to protect yourself. You are the only one responsible for your safety. You may proceed in one of two ways. Dismiss this uncomfortable reality by engaging in denial. Or assume responsibility for your own protection. I concede that I have no idea how you might accomplish this in weapons-only-for-the-criminals California.

  23. congratulations says:

    I know you might hate to admit this, but you needed a man. You needed a big strong man to protect you and be a hero.

    But you didn’t get one.

    What you got was what happens when a generation of men are told “Don’t try to protect women. That’s sexist, they can do everything themselves.” “Don’t be strong, male power is dangerous and it needs to be controlled.” “Don’t ever get involved in a physical altercation with a woman, you will be the one who is thrown in jail or sued.”

    I’m sorry this happened to you, but I’m even more sorry that we as a society have so effectively destroyed and villainized the idea of maleness that many young men feel it is only acceptable to be passive, submissive, and above all non physically confrontational.

  24. Albert says:

    as a man, I would be not comfortable physically confronting the robber. she’s a woman and then the police could potentially arrest me. welcome to feminism.

  25. Chris says:

    To all the guys blaming this on the feminist movement, I call “Bullshit”! You’re just trying to make a point, but almost all of you would be too pussy to do anything, even if the feminist movement never existed.

    The reason no one helped is because most people are too selfish to risk any harm or discomfort to self to help someone else. Some other commenter says this is because 80% to 90% of the population are not “helpers”. He may be right. My guess is that the actual number varies across cultures / countries, and even within countries. It’s probably 95% in some parts of SF and about 35% in rural Texas.

  26. Rob Snowdon says:

    The reason you weren’t helped is simple.

    Your attacker was a woman. No man with a shred of common sense is going to get involved with attacking a woman, no matter what you say about her. The most likely result from such an action is jail for the man.

    And women won’t come to your rescue because they don’t do that sort of thing. They (generally) wait to be rescued.

  27. michael says:

    If I were to help you by restraining this female aggressor, the cops would be called, and the agressor would cry rape.

    In those situations, the man is always suspected to be guilty until proven innocent.

    I could easily end up in jail for helping you out.

    I am sorry this happened to you, but women no longer need the help of a man in todays society. And in situations like this with all of the rape hysteria in the world, it’s best for men to leave things alone.

  28. Mizugon says:

    No man would help you in such a situation as it will probably end in jail for attacking a woman or some other ridiculous accusation.

    The surprising thing is that no woman came to your help, I guess women just don’t like helping other people if there is no direct benefit to themselves.

    • Mark says:

      >The surprising thing is that no woman came to your help

      It’s not surprising at all. Women detest other women, they back-stab each other all the time. They form a superficial, fake “sisterhood” just to advance some agenda, then it’s back-stabbing all over again.

  29. Rupert says:

    I don’t really buy that no one helped you because your aggressor was a woman. Perhaps it can be put down partly to the bystander effect.

    But I think, more importantly, it comes down to self-preservation. Contrary to how it appears in the movies, I’d imagine it takes a lot of bravery to step in and try to engage someone with a knife. After all, you didn’t fight her off, you ran away. Why should other people be able to fight her?

    The risk of being badly hurt while intervening in a situation like this is high. Just recently in Australia (where I live) a guy was beaten almost to death for telling some thugs to lay off a young woman they were verbally abusing.

    It’s not comforting, but it’s also easy to think that we would certainly step in if we were the bystander. For many of us, especially those with no combat training, that’s a big ask.

    That said, the whole ordeal sounds really scary and also frustrating. At least someone could have taken you somewhere safe, and ran away with you.

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  31. Hemlock says:

    Bummer that this happened, must have been scary, but you survived, that is good. I don’t blame you, or feminism for any of that. The answer is far simpler: Predatory criminals pick their targets well: a target that is easy to scare or intimidate, or a target not able to easily fight back — a limp or bandage or cast on the foot would mark you as an easy prey that couldn’t just run away. An easy target is also an unaware target, the element of surprise is a formidable advantage — if you have your face down in your smart phone swiping through facebook, instagram, etc. you aren’t truly aware of your surroundings. How many nature videos have you seen where the lion surprises the wildebeast while it’s drinking from the watering hole, its head down, unaware of the danger lurking.

    If I may be so bold as to make a pair of suggestions:
    1.) Put away the smart phone, save it for the office or for home or for train rides, not for walking/waiting through/in crowded urban environments full of unknowns. I have a smart phone too, I keep it in my pocket when walking the streets. Keep your head up, shoulders back and eyes moving — notice what is going on around you!
    2.) Take some martial arts classes. there will not always be a white knight there to save you, and if you know a thing or two about defending yourself, that can only benefit you. Think martial arts is unladylike? Well so is being robbed or raped. Consider the case of Yim Wing Chun who used Kung Fu to deter an aggressive and abusive suitor once and for all by challenging him to a public fight and winning. Wing Chun, Kempo and Krav Maga are excellent martial arts that teach you to take the initiative back.

    Having grown up practicing martial arts in a far more rural area of California than San Francisco (I work in SF now in the Tech Industry) I am routinely disgusted by what I see in other men in the SF area. Most of them wouldn’t lift a finger to save themselves, so expecting any kind of heroics from them to save you from danger is just not going to happen. They will watch in wide-eyed terror as you are attacked — maybe they might pull out a smart phone to catch a quick video which will be uploaded to facebook, youtube or pinterest, but intervene? Nope.

    Our voyeuristic culture is one in which we are all indoctrinated that violence is never okay, never acceptable, especially in California — where the state prefers that you call the police rather than defend yourself and where the culture says to love and accept one another (those sentiments only work if both parties agree to abide by it). We try and address bullying with facebook click campaigns and school rallies. We look for a superhero to come swinging down from the rooftops or leap from the bushes and come to our rescue. Yet there are times when doing violent harm to another person is the ONLY reasonable course of action. Yes its ugly, yes it’s sad that humans can’t respect each other, and yes, sometimes its necessary to defend life and limb by doing bodily injury to someone threatening you.

    To all the boys who chimed in with a sentiment of “well this is what you feminists wanted and this is what you get” and “I could be charged with rape for intervening” you are all cowards excusing your own cowardice behind false rationalization and I welcome your hate for calling you out. Intervention in that kind of situation doesn’t have to show up as you tackling the aggressor and breaking their arm or nose while holding them to the pavement, sometimes a sharp word, or a quick shove, or even a distraction potent enough for the victim to escape would have been enough. And even if you did punch out a total stranger to defend another total stranger, who says you have to stick around and explain to the cops, dip out — it’s not hard in a dense urban environment. If you get detained/arrested, take the 5th, there are specific exclusions to assualt charges where you are acting in self-defense (which any public defender can use to get you off the hook provided you don’t incriminate yourself by spewing a bunch of adrenaline charged blather). Furthermore, how does the ideal of the feminist movement “that women are people too” have anything to do with your ability to be masculine? Cowards.

    To the author of the article, thank you for this potent reminder: “All that is necessary for the existence of evil is for good people to do nothing.”

  32. JJ says:

    I don’t feel sorry for you one bit.

    You mentioning “ban bossy”, shaming videogamers and IT people for what they like to do, and how you’ve read all the psychology books, makes you sound like a grade-A feminist. I would’ve enjoyed seeing you being gutted by her and having to pick up your own man-hating innards from the ground.

    What femitards like you have failed to understand is that the goal of patriarchy was never to subjugate women, rather it was for men to exercise their biologically given strength so they could, among other things, also protect other men and women.

    Take a look at this:

    The mangina camera man automatically assumes that the woman is in distress (just because she happened to be born with a vagina) and starts to obstruct the policeman from doing his work.

    When the laws are being passed by the feminists that continuously chip away men’s rights at the expense of increasing women’s rights, and since YOU now suddenly wanted to benefit from the protection of men, don’t sit there and bemoan that nobody helped you. No man in his right mind should help you and I’m glad the didn’t.

  33. Mark says:

    I wouldn’t have helped you. Why? You’re an independent, strong, feminist woman and I’m a useless male, am I not? Or I misunderstood, perhaps? I’m useless and a rapist and a piece of shit when it serves your interests, but when you’re in deep shit then I’m apparently not that bad. You need me, in fact. As cannon fodder, that is.

    Well, too bad. I consider the social contract broken. You’re on your own. If you want help, call the police and leave me alone. I’m not going to lift one finger to help any woman, never, ever. I’m not going to get shivved and gutted and robbed and beaten, perhaps even charged with rape, for an ungrateful cunt.

    You made your own bed, now sleep in it.

  34. Alice M says:

    I’m sorry. Your blog link was posted to a delusional reddit community ( where the members hate everything that has breasts and isn’t the modern incarnation of a 50s housewife. Some of these comments are hilarious, some of them are depressing, and some of them make me repulsed that there are individuals out there that actually believe in the shit they spew out of their mouth.

    The bystander effect is very powerful, and you did the right thing by trying to identify someone specific to help you. It’s unfortunate that he wasn’t very helpful, but your next reaction should have been to call out someone else specifically. I personally carry mace with me everywhere I go. As someone else mentioned, kicking someone in the area below the knee is highly effective and painful. If you have to run, try to pick out someone to help as well as look for anything that A) you can use as a shield (a briefcase, a trashcan lid, etc etc) or B) something long that you can smack them (a broom handle, a pipe, a stick, an umbrella, even a purse with a long strap. Barring this, sometimes your best bet is to run into an area where it is much more difficult for people to ignore you. Of course it would be great if there was a police department around the corner, but a cafe or any place that has multiple tables and chairs offer additional obstacles for your attacker and makes it much harder for people to ignore you as you’re running around their table with a psychopath following you.

  35. Former Whiteknight says:

    I was one of those “helper” guys. I suppose I still am. My instinct is to help the innocent and protect the weak… but I’ve learned, and as much as I’ll hate it, I refuse to put myself in harm’s way for people who not only lack any modicum of appreciation for my efforts, but actively work against me after I act.

    Coming out of a bar one night, I look down the road and there’s a guy straight up beating his girlfriend. Dragging her by the hair, slapping her, kicking her, it’s not a “full on” beating, but incredibly abusive and in full view. Everyone’s standing around agog, noone does anything… except, of course, me. I go over to tell the guy that’s inappropriate behavior.

    Well, the chick takes off running, while I’m watching her run this guy sucker punches me. When I don’t go down (admittedly I was just looking at him like “you have to be kidding”) he physically *leaps on me*. Suddenly I’m 150lbs heavier, and down we go. Scrapping on the ground, he’s still on top of me and at some point I realize my eyes are filling up with blood.

    Reward for intervention #1 – being sucker punched and jumped by some douche beating up his girl. She bails immediately. No, really, you’re welcome lady. Glad to help.

    Eventually the cops arrive and break us up. He’s in the back of the cruiser, EMT is looking at where all the blood on my face came from… but there’s not a scratch on my head, the only shot he landed on my head was the weak-as-cotton jab to my jaw that started it all. He says “Well, I don’t see where any of it came from, if it’s not from you…” We both turn to look at the scrawny douchebag sitting in the back of the cruiser. Bad skin. Bad teeth. Gaunt for his size. EMT makes the connection first, immediately flushes my eyes with saline and tells me “Get checked. Immediately.”

    Reward for intervention #2 – Testing for potentially fatal or debilitation blood-bourne diseases common to junkies and other lowlives with a fondness for IV drug use. All at my own expense, of course, although I’d have paid 10x as much if I didn’t have to wait months, wondering whether or not I was going to end up dead for ‘Lil Miss Runaway.

    I get cleaned up, cop comes over to me and gets my version of events. I give him the rundown (TL/DR – He was smacking her around, I came over to tell him to knock it off, she bailed, he attacked, we scrap, you show up, we talk). Cop tells me the guy is well known down at the station. Not a new situation. Tells me I’m lucky he didn’t decide to pack a blade tonight, or that sucker punch might instead have been a sucker-slice-to-the-corotid, bleed-out-on-the-pavement event.

    Reward for intervention #3 – Graphically informed of how narrowly I avoided death by the happenstance that a known repeat offender managed to be too angry with Ms. Gazelle to remember to bring along a blade.

    I go home. The next day I get a call from the crown prosecutor. She’s going to press charges, not on behalf of the girlfriend, but on my behalf. Asks me if I’d give testimony. Implies that it’s not exactly optional. I agree to do so, but if I hadn’t… well…

    Reward for intervention #4 – Court appearances, whether you like it or not. Whee. Wondering why they didn’t bust him for beating Madame Runs-From-Conflict? So did I. Well, at least until the hearing.

    Hearing day arrives. Prosecution is up. Junkie’s up on the stand, looking marginally more respectable (probably cuz he wasn’t all banged up and dripping blood into my eyes from moments before). Says he wasn’t doing nothing, and big ol’ mean ol’ me came up and intimidated him, so he felt like he HAD to defend himself against me. I get on the stand, give the court the same rundown I gave the cop (eg. smack, intervention, suckerpunch, scrap, done). I finish up, I think we’re done… but no, the defense has a witness.

    Ms. Runs-To-Courtroom-And-Sits-With-Bullshit testifies… in HIS defense. I attacked HIM. It was all MY fault.

    Reward for intervention #5 – This is the only reward that isn’t said ironically: I learned that those for whom you intervene apparently have no moral obligation whatsoever to support your actions in any capacity, even if you’ve directly risked your life in multiple ways to save their ass. NONE.

    In the end it worked out… sort of. Turns out the cops did their job reasonably well post-facto and got statements from a dozen gobsmacked bystanders that all corroborated my version of events. He got 6 months… of house arrest, in the house he’s living with his girlfriend in. So, really, she was sentenced to 6 months of him never leaving, too. The universe is not ENTIRELY without justice, it seems.

    Fortunately for me, in the end, junkie blood in the eyes is not a guarantee of infection with the diseases therein, my material losses amounted to a torn shirt, broken glasses, drug testing sessions and time lost. In return for that investment, I learned a very valuable lession.

    Intervention is for suckers.

  36. Why aren’t the white males sacrificing their life for a woman?

    All straight white males should be forced by law to jump in front of a knife and get stabbed to death so you would not have to get your hands dirty or bloody!


    Shut it down!


    The goyim are waking up!

  37. Gumbril says:

    The sense of entitlement of this woman is staggering. I am supposed to risk my life in order to save you from being deprived of your belongings? Get the fuck out. I am sure that in the unwillingness of all to intervene was based on rational instincts of self-preservation rather than ‘disconnecteness’.

  38. Pingback: Random notes: May 23, 2014. « Whipped Cream Difficulties

  39. Winston Smith says:

    Some of the comments may be rude, but they have a good point. You’re post is filled with an attitude of female entitlement.

    Why should a man risk physical (and yes, legal) danger for you, someone he doesn’t even know? Is your safety and well being more important than his? Is your life more important because you are a woman? That’s what you seem to be saying. At one time that WAS the social contract. But when you attempt to rewrite that contract keeping only the parts that are beneficial to women and discarding the rest, it’s not surprising that men refuse to go along.

    I am truly sorry this happened to you, but the reaction of the crowd didn’t happen in a vacuum.

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